Life after 4:30 PM, the heroism of everyday life and other lessons of optimism from Oleksandr Tereshchenko

A presentation of Oleksandr Tereshchenko's book was held at the Republican House of Sound Recording and Printing of the Ukrainian State University of Music and Drama. "Life after 4:30 PM. Seven years later", published in Braille and audio format. The printed version of the book appeared in 2018.

The author of the book is one of the “cyborgs” of Donetsk Airport. In 2014, he volunteered for the front, serving as a mortarman. On October 15 of the same year, at exactly 4:30 p.m., he was seriously injured: his right eye was damaged, he completely lost his right hand and left hand. But he did not break: he underwent rehabilitation, returned to active life – received the title of People's Hero of Ukraine, is engaged in public activities, heads the Oleksandr Tereshchenko International Charitable Foundation and worked as Deputy Minister for Veterans Affairs of Ukraine for two years.

The numbers "16:30" divided his life into "before" and "after". Oleksandr Tereshchenko described the process of entering life under new circumstances in his book - without pathos, with his characteristic humor and self-irony. The story of a person's victory over circumstances and over himself was published, which for many readers became a guide on how to act in a seemingly hopeless situation.

– You will not find anything heroic in this book, – said Oleksandr Tereshchenko at the presentation. – After all, the emphasis here is not on the war, but on the internal problems of a person who returned from there. The book is the feeling of a person who realized that something had happened in her life. I wrote about how I learned to eat, to serve myself. And since I am a person with humor by nature, I even wrote such episodes with self-irony, black humor. Just the way I like it.

At the Donetsk airport, as O. Tereshchenko said, he was only a week old.
- I went to war as a volunteer. After the annexation of Crimea, I hesitated for a long time. I honestly admit, it was scary. Just like when I was afraid to go to Maidan, although I supported it. Then, when Maidan won, I came to Instytutska, saw these photos: very young heroes of different ages, including very young ones. And I realized: if I don't go now, then I won't be able to forgive myself for this later.

Oleksandr Tereshchenko was not accepted into the army on his first attempt, because he did not have the necessary specialty.

– I did my military service in the construction troops, and by the time I came to the CCC, I was already 47 years old. So I had to wait. In the end, at the end of July 2014, they invited me and said that they would send me somewhere, they said, come tomorrow with your things. That's how I ended up in the 28th separate mechanized brigade named after the Knights of the Winter Campaign. I went through three weeks of adjustment. Since I had worked as a videographer for some time, they told me: you will be a grenade launcher! After all, what difference does it make to you what to carry on your shoulders: a camera or a grenade launcher?..

I agreed with this line of thought, and three weeks later they were looking for volunteers again: they said that tomorrow we would go to Donbas. I also went, with trepidation, and it turned out that I had been drafted into an airborne assault brigade. And for me it was a great thrill, because I really wanted to be a “real boy.” And then there was the Donetsk airport, and the grenade that the enemies threw into our trench, and my attempt to save myself and my comrades by throwing this grenade outside. But it exploded in my hands.

"Life after" consisted of learning the simplest things that were easy to do before the injury. And writing a book to share this experience with others who were also in a similar situation.

– It is important for an author not to lose himself on a bookshelf. So that your books are not just on it, but that people read them, – continues Oleksandr Tereshchenko. – I have a friend, a teenager with visual impairment. We met in Dnipro at a festival, took a selfie together, talked. He is now in the Czech Republic and constantly writes to me. I sent him my book with a link to the voice acting. He replied that the book helped him a lot in his life.

As for uniqueness and courage. You know, before I was injured, I considered myself a fairly empathetic person. I always sympathized, helped when it was necessary, for example, to help someone in a wheelchair get on a trolleybus. But I didn’t think too much about what would happen to these people? Can they live the way I do: I wanted to drink coffee - I went to a cafe? And only when I was injured, I realized how difficult it is to do these seemingly simple things. How serious are the restrictions that society sets: they say, we supposedly love you, here is a small pension for you, but please, stay home and don’t interfere with our lives.

As for veterans with disabilities, I would call it a kind of “honorary restrictions”. You are heroes, we are extremely grateful to you, we are simply ready to pray for you like a sack of shit! But, sorry, this is not for you, that is not there, and you better not go there… Because why would you need it, we will carry you away in our arms anyway?!

So I think that people who live with disabilities for a long time are just a concentration of courage, because you overcome some barriers every day. And my mission is to somehow join the locomotive that will overcome these limitations.

And I also dream that the time will come when each of us will be defined by personal traits, and not by signs of impaired health: brunette, blond, tall or slightly shorter - without an emphasis on signs of disability. Because we are all equal, all the same. And each of us can realize ourselves, be useful to society.

I do a lot to draw society's attention to these things, to lend a shoulder to someone who is lost and has lost the freedom to live. The translation of my book into Braille and the creation of its audio version significantly expand these opportunities. At such moments, I simply forget that I have a disability at all or that there is something wrong with me. And another important point: if you are internally tuned to self-pity, then you will receive it from the outside. Although people do not hear this desire of yours, they feel it subconsciously. And in order to receive constructive feedback from society, you need to send a signal that you are ready to accept it.

I am happy that I am overcoming obstacles – significant for us and invisible to other people. Of course, this makes me very tired, but I fall asleep with a huge sense of satisfaction: you have overcome it!

What does an ordinary person need to do to feel like a hero? Climb Everest, jump with a parachute. And you crossed the road on your own, coped with your primary needs – and that's it, handsome boy! I will never forget my first feelings after being injured. I was mad from the first day that I couldn't do something simple. After all, my hands, as they say, always grew from the right place: I did all the men's work at home myself. I did everything with my own hands – and here they are not!..

The first week after 4:30 PM I was in the hospital. My wife was next to me in the ward. She fell asleep tired, and I just wanted to take off my socks. My conscience wouldn't let me wake her up, and I couldn't... I started trying: foot to foot - and it worked! In the morning I felt an incredible victory.

Then it became easier. Then – step by step, new successes and new achievements. Life is made up of such small steps. That is why I am constantly tuning in to something new. Now I have a plan to complete the full pilgrimage route to the Spanish city of Santiago de Compostela in Galicia, 880 kilometers long.

I have already completed the first Camino de Santiago, a shorter route of 280 kilometers, also on my own. It was not easy. Especially when on the third day of the journey my prosthesis broke and I could not take care of myself. It came to funny situations. For example, at that moment I could not even change clothes without outside help, and there was no one to ask: the route is largely deserted, and even in the cities people do not know English well, and I do not speak Spanish.

But nothing, I got out of the situation, they helped me repair my prosthesis – and I moved on. I completed the pilgrimage of 280 kilometers, now I’m looking forward to 880… And you know what’s the most interesting? I started thinking about going this way even before I was injured, when I read a book by Paulo Coelho «Щоденник мага», which describes this route. I read it and thought: that would be cool! And then an inner voice: where are you going? You don't know the language, and it's all difficult...

You know, each of us has such “decorative” dreams. We hang them on the Christmas tree every year like toys. There I wanted to be both an astronaut and a captain. That was “before”. And “after”, when life changed drastically, and I came to Lithuania for rehabilitation, one of my Lithuanian friends jokingly said: you walk from the sleeping area of ​​Vilnius to the center, so maybe you can walk the “Camino”? I laughed, and then thought: “Why not?” And I started preparing: I wrote it on paper, laid it out in my head.

The first thought: “Are you afraid because you don’t have hands?” And the counterargument: “Well, no. But you live like this! You already stayed in Kyiv for two weeks, went to work yourself, you can completely cope on your own.” Yes, there is a language barrier, also the need to live in hostels, and this means a lot of new people, unknown challenges… Scary? A little bit, but overall it’s fun! And in the end, I did go this way – without hands!

The most amazing thing is that what I was afraid to even dream about before the injury turned out to be quite achievable after it. Therefore, I urge everyone to shake off their dreams from the mothballs and realize them. Believe me, it is possible! The only thing I am afraid of now is that someday I will stop dreaming and planning something.

The Oleksandr Tereshchenko Foundation provides assistance to veterans with vision loss and limb amputations.
– We held a master class for guys with amputees. We arrived at one hospital, and I went around the wards. Of course, the guys at first look with disbelief when I start talking about prostheses. But then, when we watched a video with advice on what to do in such situations, understanding came. One guy who lost his hand came up and said: “This is so cool! I thought I couldn’t do anything with one hand, but it turns out I can do almost everything!” And for me it is a great happiness when at least one person understands that losing an arm or leg is not a sentence, but just new realities of your life.

"Life after 4:30 PM. Seven years later" — a book that inspires you to live on. And to live life brightly, meaningfully, regardless of the circumstances that may arise. To be strong and overcome circumstances. To be useful to society, people and defend your own interests.