Unbreakable Anastasia Yablochko: "I wholeheartedly call for equal communication with people with disabilities" / Anastasia Yablochko, a public activist: "I wholeheartedly call for equal communication with people with disabilities" (Eng)

November 2, 2023

Anastasia Yablochko is well known among young people with disabilities for her social projects. Ukrainian TV viewers could see her in the romantic show "Half and Half". She moves around in a wheelchair, but she does not position herself as a person with a disability.

"First of all, today I am a happy woman and a happy mother - this is the most important thing in my life," says Anastasia.

We talked to Ms. Yabluchko about her difficult path to happiness. More specifically, about how her perception of herself changed in difficult circumstances.

Since childhood, Anastasia has been surrounded by love and active support from her family. Thanks to their hard work, her physical condition has improved significantly. Perhaps that is why she considers the difficulties associated with her disability not a burden but a valuable experience.

"For some reason, I don't accept things that come easy. When I was only 16, my mother died. She always emphasized that I should be independent. She said: "Imagine what will happen to you when I'm gone?" says Anastasia.

Parents of children with disabilities often overprotect them - it's easier: on the one hand, you show pity, on the other hand, you don't make any effort to teach the child anything. The girl's grandmother, who raised her with her mother, did the same. When her mother encouraged her daughter to cook, her grandmother would reproach her: "Why are you torturing the child? She has cerebral palsy, it's hard for her. I can do it better and faster."

But her mother reminded her: "The day will come when we won't be around, she has to be able to do everything on her own!"

"I am so grateful to her for that! I wish she had been there when I got married, so she could have seen my daughter!" the woman says.

Anastasia began her social work by creating a foundation for the development of young people with disabilities with a friend. Paying attention to thematic posts on social media, she realized that she could share her own experience. Later, she joined the Women's Club, which was founded on the basis of the city's social rehabilitation center.

"We held various events aimed at the development of girls with disabilities: a photo shoot, a makeover party, etc.," the woman says.

"And today, one of my most important projects is a group on Telegram. We are called the Real Community. Its members have become my family! Even when I have health problems, I always find the energy and time to communicate with them," says Anastasia.

Among many similar communities, this group stands out for its true inclusiveness. This is not a reservation for people with disabilities. Everyone who wants to communicate sincerely and has something to say is welcome here, and each member is truly treated with respect. Each photo or picture is additionally described so that people with visual impairments do not feel excluded and have full access to the content.

"As long as a person does not give up, he is stronger than his fate" is Anastasia's favorite Remarque quote. The hardest thing for her was to fully accept her disability - to become stronger than what cannot be changed.

"My life was such that people always surrounded me with support and respect, so I did not position myself as a person with a disability. It was only after my daughter was born that I came to terms with the fact that I could not do everything. I have a defect in my right arm, and it is impossible to do without help with a baby," Anastasia emphasizes. Her mother-in-law and grandmother helped her, and she is incredibly grateful to them.

Gradually, Anastasiia's life became more and more intense. The woman finally formed and accepted herself as she is. Everything was happening as she had imagined: new ideas and projects were emerging, especially in the fall of 2021 and winter of 2022. She and her husband were planning to move to a new apartment, and if they succeeded, even buy their own home. The full-scale invasion did not destroy these plans and dreams.

"Now I live in Germany in peace and safety, but there hasn't been a day when I haven't thought about returning to Ukraine. I often imagine what it would be like: I miss my home streets and houses. Our Armed Forces, volunteers and love for our native land give me hope for victory. I believe that everyone who wants it will come home!" says Anastasia.

And in the first weeks of the full-scale war, she was filled with fear and absolute confusion. In addition to the explosions, she was afraid of the inaccessibility and unreliability of the nearest shelters, she was afraid of her own limited mobility, but most of all, she was afraid of having a small child with her!

"I didn't know how to control myself so as not to scare the child! Everything that happened seemed like an adventure to Polina. "Mommy, it's so much fun to hide from explosions!" she would say, jumping carefree. I realized that I could not stop her, but I warned her that it was very dangerous. I told her to listen carefully to mom and dad and hold my hand.

During the alarms, we stayed in the basement of a Christian church near our home. The Lord loves our family very much and showed us great mercy! Our shelter had a toilet, shower and a small kitchen. We had internet and electricity.

However, it was not a protected bomb shelter, but just a basement. At the first alarm, people ran to hide en masse. There was absolute confusion.

And it was in the shelter that this painful story happened, which I remember as if it happened yesterday, although a year and a half has passed.

Out of fear for Polina's life, I started asking someone with a car to take my daughter out of Kyiv. I was ready to give them everything I had! My husband stopped me, saying, "Don't get crazy," but Polina assured me: "I will behave very well, just don't give me away!" Anastasia recalls.

"We left Kyiv by train. I come from a family of railroaders and know their 'cuisine' well. So when the train suddenly started going much faster, I immediately realized that something unusual was happening. We were forbidden to approach the windows and turn on the lights. It turned out that the train had come under fire, but we were so tired that it didn't cause any emotions. Eventually, everything passed and we were safe," the woman recalls.

As a Ukrainian, Anastasia feels morally bad in Europe because of the war, but as a person with a disability, she feels much better than she did at home.

"Here, people don't treat me by labeling me. Here they smile because they want to smile. Here they look at my feet not to make sure they exist, but because I have cool shoes!

Nowadays, it is important for Ukrainians to show maximum tolerance and understanding. We should finally learn the concept of a "person with a disability" and avoid pejorative designations of nosologies (wheelchair user, blind, amputee).

I sincerely urge you to communicate with people with disabilities on an equal footing and get rid of stereotypes.

It is also important to talk about these topics with children. If we explain everything clearly and truthfully to children, they will get used to a tolerant attitude.

I believe that this is exactly what will happen in Ukraine - it's not something exorbitant, but an ordinary human perception that our wonderful people are capable of!" Anastasia believes.

By Tamila Koval

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"Unbreakable" is a series of articles about Ukrainian women and girls that motivate, delight and inspire!

This initiative is being implemented within the framework of the project "Promoting the rights of women and girls with disabilities by strengthening their participation and leadership in communities", implemented by the National Assembly of Persons with Disabilities of Ukraine with the support of UN Women Ukraine and the Women's Peace and Humanitarian Fund.

About the United Nations Women's Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF).

The Women’s Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF) is the only global financing mechanism exclusively dedicated to supporting women’s participation in peace and security processes and humanitarian action. Governed by a diverse group of civil society, government, and UN representatives, WPHF is a multi-partner trust fund that mobilizes urgently needed funding for local, women-led organizations and works alongside women on the front lines to build lasting peace. Since 2016, WPHF has provided funding and strengthened the capacities of over 1,000 local women’s civil society organizations advancing the Women, Peace and Security agenda and delivering humanitarian action in 41 crisis-affected countries.

This publication has been prepared with the financial support of the United Nations Women's Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF), which does not imply that the views and contents expressed herein are officially endorsed or recognized by the United Nations."".

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  • Anastasia Yablochko, a public activist: "I wholeheartedly call for equal communication with people with disabilities"

 

Anastasia Yablochko is well known among young people with disabilities for her social projects. Ukrainian TV viewers could see her in the romantic show "Soul Mates." She uses a wheelchair to get around, but she does not identify herself as a person with a disability.

"First of all, today I am a happy woman and a happy mother - this is the most important thing in my life," Anastasia says.

We talked to Ms. Yablochko about her difficult path to happiness. More specifically, about how her self-perception had been changing through difficult circumstances.

Since childhood, Anastasia has been surrounded by love and active support from her family. Thanks to their persistent efforts, her physical condition has improved significantly. Perhaps that is why she perceives the difficulties associated with her disability not as a burden, but as a valuable experience.

"For some reason, I don't accept things that come easy. When I was only 16, my mother died. She had always emphasized that I must be independent. She would say: "Can you imagine what will happen to you when I'm gone?" says Anastasia.

Parents of children with disabilities often overuse hyper-protection because it is easier: on the one hand, you show pity, and on the other hand, you don't make any effort to teach the child anything. The girl's grandmother, who was raising the child together with her mother, was doing the same. When the mother encouraged her daughter to do cooking, her grandmother would reproach: "Why are you torturing the child? She has cerebral palsy, and it's hard for her. I can do it better and faster."

But Anastasia's mother would remind her: "The day will come when we won't be around, so she must be able to do everything by herself!"

"I am so grateful to her for that! I wish she had been there when I was getting married, so she could have seen her daughter!" the woman says.

Anastasia started her social activities by creating, together with her friend, a fund for the development of young people with disabilities. Looking through thematic posts on social media, she realized that she could share her own experience. Later, she joined the Women's Club, which had been founded on the basis of the city's social rehabilitation center.

"We held various events aimed at the development of girls with disabilities: a photo session, a makeup party, etc.," recalls the woman. "And today, one of my most important projects is a Telegram group. And we are called that way - "Real Community." Its members have become my family! Even when I have health problems, I always find energy and time to communicate with them," says Anastasia.

This group stands out for its true inclusiveness among many similar communities. It is not a reservation for people with disabilities. Anyone who wants to have sincere communication and has something to say is welcome here, and every member is truly treated with respect. Each photo or picture is additionally described so that people with visual impairments do not feel excluded and have full access to the content.

"As long as a person does not give up, that person is stronger than their fate" is Anastasia's favorite quote from the writer Remarque. The hardest thing for her was to fully accept her disability and thus become stronger than what cannot be changed.

"My life has been unfolding in such a way that people have always surrounded me with support and respect, so I have never considered myself a person with a disability. It was only after my daughter was born that I came to accept that I couldn't do everything on my own. I have a defect in my right arm, and taking care of a baby without somebody's help is simply impossible," emphasizes Anastasia. She received help from her mother-in-law and grandmother, and she is immensely grateful to them for their support.

Anastasiia's life was gradually filling up. The woman's identity finally took shape, and she accepted herself as she was. Everything was going just as she had imagined: new ideas and projects were emerging, especially in the fall of 2021 and the winter of 2022. She and her husband were planning to move to a new apartment, and, if possible, even buy their own home.

The full-scale invasion did not shatter those plans and dreams.

"Now I'm living in Germany in peace and safety, but not a day goes by when I don't think about returning to Ukraine. I often imagine what it would be like - I miss my native streets and buildings. Our armed forces, volunteers, and love for our homeland give me hope for victory. I believe that everyone who wants it will eventually come home!" says Anastasia.

And in the first weeks of the full-scale war, she was overwhelmed by fear and utter confusion. Aside from the explosions, she found herself terrified by the inaccessibility and unreliability of the nearby shelters. She was also scared of her own limited mobility, but above all, she was deeply frightened because she had a young baby with her!

"I didn't know how to regain my self-control so as not to frighten the child! Everything that was happening appeared as an adventure to Polina. "Mommy, it's so much fun to hide from explosions!" she would gleefully exclaim, leaping around carelessly. I understood that I couldn't restrain my daughter, but I cautioned her that it was all very dangerous. I would tell her to listen carefully to Mom and Dad and hold my hand.

During the alarms, we took refuge in the basement of a Christian church near our home. The Lord loves our family very much and has shown great mercy to us! Our shelter had a toilet, shower, and a small kitchen. We had Internet and electricity.

However, it was not a fortified bomb shelter, but a simple basement. As soon as the alarms sounded, people would rush in to hide. One could sense absolute chaos.

And it was in the shelter that a painful story unfolded, which I remember as if it took place yesterday, even though a year and a half has already passed.

Out of fear for Polina's life, I started begging anyone with a car to take my daughter out of Kyiv.

I was ready to give them everything I had!

My husband stopped me, saying, "Don't make things up," and Polina was trying to reassure me: "I'll behave very well, just don't give me away!" Anastasia remembers.

"We departed from Kyiv by train. I come from a family of railway workers and know their "cuisine" well. So, when the train suddenly started moving much faster, I immediately realized that something extraordinary was happening. We were forbidden to come near the windows and switch on the lights. The reason was that the train had come under shelling, but we were so exhausted that it didn't cause any emotions. After all, everything ended well and got to a safe place," the woman recalls.

As a Ukrainian, Anastasia feels morally bad in Europe because of the war, but as a person with a disability, she feels much better than she did at home.

"Here, people do not treat me by attaching labels. Here, they smile because they want to smile. Here, they look at my feet not to make sure they exist, but because I'm wearing cool shoes!

These days, it is important for Ukrainians to show maximum tolerance and understanding. We should finally learn the concept of a "person with a disability" and avoid pejorative definitions of nosologies (a wheelchair user, a blind person, or an amputee).

I wholeheartedly urge everyone to communicate with people with disabilities as equals and get rid of stereotypes.

It is also important to talk about these topics with children. If we explain everything clearly and honestly to children, they will get used to tolerant attitudes.

I believe that it will be that way in Ukraine - it is not something sky-high, but a common human belief in the capabilities of our wonderful people!" believes Anastasia.

 

Prepared by Denys Ivanchenko.

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"THE INVINCIBLE LADY" is a series of articles about Ukrainian women and girls that motivate, fascinate, and inspire.

This initiative is part of the project "Empowerment of Women and Girls with Disabilities by Strengthening their Involvement and Leadership in Communities," which is being implemented by the National Assembly of People with Disabilities of Ukraine with the support of UN Women Ukraine and the Women's Peace and Humanitarian Fund.

About the UN Women's Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF)

The UN Women's Peace and Humanitarian Fund is a unified global financial mechanism designed exclusively to support the participation of women in peace and security building and humanitarian responses. Governed by a range of civil society, governments, and UN actors, WPHF is a multi-partner trust fund that mobilizes urgently needed funding for local women-led organizations and works together with women on the frontlines to build lasting peace. WPHF has provided funding and supported capacity building for more than 500 local civil society organizations working with the Women, Peace, and Security agenda and implementing humanitarian activities in 28 crisis-affected countries.

This publication has been prepared with the financial support of the United Nations Women's Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF), but the views and contents expressed herein do not necessarily represent the official endorsement or recognition of the United Nations.

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